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Rain Liqueur
14 June 2013 @ 12:14 am
It's been a while since I did a real update. There are several things I wanted to post about, but didn't. Like Doug. And the POW MIA motorcycle guys that I followed all the way to P.B. Smith. And I'm sure I've forgotten more. Oh, and I might as well say that there were either two or three funeral processions in April or one or two of those were at the end of May. I was only keeping tabs because, if you'll remember I mentioned, I'd never seen any coming out of Moser's and then suddenly there were many. Like four or so in a single month.

Anyway, I'll talk about that stuff later. I promise. I really started this entry to talk about bodily fluids. Ew, gross. I'm pretty sure I've bled on something in almost every room in this house. I bled in the kitchen after dinner. I tried to clean up before anybody noticed by pretending I was calling over Amelia while I crouched down, hoping the chair and my body would block the view. I didn't do a very good job. lol. I mean, I cleaned up, but I'm pretty sure I looked super suspicious. On previous occasions I've also bled on the floor downstairs, the floor in my bedroom, and on just about every surface in my bathroom. Gross. Blood everywhere.

I am a disgusting human being.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: tiredtired
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: Mysteries at the Museum on telly
Rain Liqueur
07 June 2013 @ 11:01 pm
Happy Birthday.

Even though I remembered this morning and then forgot for about ten hours and now an hour before the day ends I finally remembered again. I made it.

But I guess that's what happens after holy fuck, fourteen years? Fourteen years in four months. Holy shit.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: blankblank
Rain Liqueur
22 May 2013 @ 12:20 am
Babies fucking EVERYWHERE.

Liz and Julio had their baby yesterday. Sara and James should be having theirs today as she was induced yesterday (about four hours ago, actually). And then there's Jamie (who is a relative on my uncle's side of the family whom I've never met) who went into labor three hours before Sara.

I don't think I've ever known so many people giving birth so close together.

In an unrelated note, have you ever seen someone post something and just gone, 'ew, can you not?' or 'ew, disgusting.' Because I have. Often. Probably too often.

I shouldn't have to say, but I will. I don't mean to say that what they were posting was gross in the traditional sense. I mean they posted something that I don't agree with. But everyone has a right to their own opinion and freedom of speech lets them post it. But seriously, 'oh, beautiful family, thanks for sharing, congratulations to you and your perfect beautiful family!' Or 'look what I got, I got a thing, expensive thing, and it's a special thing so you should tell me how special expensive thing is! Gag me with a fucking wooden spoon. Ugh.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: blankblank
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: CSI on telly
Rain Liqueur
11 May 2013 @ 01:10 am
My sister's birthday was (technically) yesterday. I may have actually gotten drunk a little bit. And I feel terrible now. lol. I really, really shouldn't eat and drink at the same time. I should know this by now. Ughhh.

I've found that while intoxicated, my perception of time is skewed. I know what happened because I didn't black out or anything, but like it felt like something happened ages ago when it only happened a few minutes ago. lol. One moment I'm eating dinner, the next I'm in the kitchen by myself and my mum and sister are outside. Then, I get up to check myself in the bathroom, because I felt awful, and suddenly, they're coming inside. It did begin raining, though.

I ended up sleeping most of it off while my sister yelled at me that it was against party rule number six, you have to find your way to a bed. Haha. I wasn't really asleep, though. And I only closed my eyes when I could do it without feeling like I was turning in circles.

I may have barfed. Oops. lol. This has never happened before. One Xmas I did ten shots and I was golden. I think I did seven or so tonight and suddenly I'm barfing up my mac and cheese bunnies. (It's an organic brand called Annie's. The pastas are bunny shaped.) Although, that Xmas I drank after eating; this time around I drank and then ate. Thing is, I barely remember barfing? But I know I did. Because I spit in the sink afterwards and there was blood in my phlegm. Gross.

I think I'm gonna go to bed early.

Okay, I'm outta here. Not that there's anyone around to read this anyway. lol.

Oh, poor Gwennie hurt herself. She tries to avoid putting weight on her right front leg and when you pick her up, she cries something fierce. So we think she's hurt her ribs, too, somehow.

Outta here for real now. I just want to sleep forever. Also, I'm hungry, but the thought of food is making me sick. Eating while drinking is 0/10, would not recommend. Future self better remember this. Ughhhh.

Don't worry. I'm drinking lots of water. :)
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: sicksick
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: Defiance, on telly
Rain Liqueur
07 April 2013 @ 10:32 pm
I had an awkward conversation with my mum and sister at dinner. I don't even know how we got on the topic, but someone started talking about birth control, which led to doctor's visits, which led to me discussing my doctor allergy.

I don't like being touched. It freaks me the fuck out. (I bet you're surprised. If you know me, you know I'm very huggy and my whole friend group randomly gropes each other, so...) But being poked and prodded sends my anxiety levels flying and it makes me want to cry or throw up or both. My throat gets tight just thinking about it.

If I could be sedated (or buzzed enough to the point where I don't give a flying fuck), then doctor visits would be easier. I don't see the problem with being sedated, but my mother and sister basically just yell at me, "you can't be sedated!" Fuck you, why not?

I can't, I can't, I can't. If doctor visits where just drawing blood, observation, and questions I think I could do it. (Although, I don't like to answer personal questions. Fuck you, it's none of your fucking business, you fucking fuck.)

I just don't do touching. Ugh.

To make things even more awkward, my sister was like, "so are you just gonna be a virgin forever?" And honestly, I can see it going that way. I'm pretty much asexual anyway, so.... I mean, I can feel the societal pressure that says being this way is 'bad' or 'unusual,' but why does it matter? I'm not hurting you in any way so fuck off.

Okay, now I feel like barfing. Fuck everything.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: anxiousanxious
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: Vikings
Rain Liqueur
31 March 2013 @ 01:13 am
I hate drunk people. I really do. My sister was drunk, again, and kept licking my CD player. Fucking disgusting. (Not just because now her spit is on it, but this is my first CD player ever. I found it under a pile of dust and other things.)

And then she kept getting closer and closer to me and I don’t like being touched on a good day so when she started poking me I about murdered her. Seriously. I’ve got the bite mark on my hand to prove it. (Endorphins from the pain lessen the anger, blah, blah, blah. You should know how they work. Just trust me.)

I know it sounds like I went from 0 to Murderer in 60 seconds, but really my patience is rather extensive; once I hit the breaking point, though, that’s it. And I’d been patiently dealing with her for about three hours. Three hours is more than enough, I think.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: Fucking murderous
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: Walking Dead theme, Unkle remix
Rain Liqueur
27 March 2013 @ 03:00 pm

I hate everything.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: apatheticapathetic
Rain Liqueur
17 March 2013 @ 10:54 pm
Please, just ignore me. This does not pertain to you. I'm just being bitchy and angry.

I'm sorry that I am not what you were expecting. I'm sorry that at my age you were already at the Agency and married. I'm sorry I haven't got anything figured out. I'm sorry that I think I might have some social anxiety. I'm sorry that I'm such a fucking disappointment.

I really hate it when after I say I don't know what I'm doing with my life you say, "I don't know what I did wrong." I think I hate it the most because it implies that there's something wrong with me. (Obviously something is, but I don't like it when other people notice.)

I'm sorry that I went to a community college and not a four year. I'm sorry that I don't make enough money to move out. I'm sorry that I didn't decide to run away like Alex did. (And now I can't because everyone will just say I was copying him.)

I guess I'm just really fucking sorry I'm not dead. (That's really cruel; sorry, not sorry about that one.)

I hate myself most of the time and when I'm not hateful, I'm angry. I'm angry because everyone else thinks I'm just as useless as I do. Everyone else has everything figured out and then there's me. Unable to move forward.

I can't tell if I want to cry or scream or sleep until I'm dead.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room.
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: I wish I was fucking dead.
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: Talking Dead on tele
Rain Liqueur
21 February 2013 @ 11:54 pm
It's Sherlock Day, again. (2.21.13->221B) I don't recall if I mentioned Sherlock Day the time before and I'm too lazy to check. (It was with the British way of doing the date. So 22.1.13.)

In other news, there have been only two funeral processions that I've seen in February. Still unusual since, as I've mentioned before, I've seen zero before this year started.

There is nothing of import to say. There have been no changes.

Well, there was an accident of some kind on 29 beyond 605. I saw the emergency vehicles heading that way taking Ann to school, a state trooper swinging through the intersection by the school, and another trooper coming through once I was on my way home. The back up was so bad I was stuck through a light cycle by the BP. After that, I decided that I wasn't going to wait anymore no matter how curious I was. Luckily for me, you can get to 605 from the neighbourhood behind BP/the car lots. (I've taken that road so many times and I don't even know what it's called, but the connector to 605 is Atlee. Maybe it's Atlee all the way through, but I don't think so.)

I'm still super curious as to what happened. Maybe it'll be in the Dumb-o-crat.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: blahMeh.
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: House on tele
Rain Liqueur
03 February 2013 @ 12:03 am

My fish died.

The end.

Actually, no. Not the end, but my fish did die. I think it was the seventeenth of January. Isidore got dropsy and kicked the bucket. (I think I mentioned his illness in a previous post.) I still haven't moved one of my adopted fish into his tank. I feel like I should clean all the fish tanks before doing it and I'm just lazy. I'll do it soon, though. I will.

January was quite a month for funerals. I mentioned the procession I saw with mum and she said that it was weird to have a funeral on a Sunday. Since then, I saw three more. (They weren't on the road, though. I just saw the hearse and the rest of the caravan as they prepared to leave Moser's.) But seriously, I go through town twice a day, five days a week and I've never actually seen a procession going or prepping before. Then bam! January has four. So weird.

Since January, I've read only four novels and five (or was it six?) graphic novels. I'm planning on making a list to see how many I read this whole year.

The only point of this entry is to record the death of my fish for future reference if I ever want to use this journal as some sort of timeline. Although, I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna do it.

Oh, maybe I should mention that we had a drinking spree last night. My sister got sloshed; of course I didn't. She also got drunk tonight. I see her being an alcoholic in the future, although she denies it every time I mention it. But really. Look at her. Every time she drinks she gets drunk. If she had her way, she'd be drinking every night.

Okay, this was meant to be short. I'm going away now.
Where To Take The Acidic Medicine: Main room
Citric Acid In The Brain Whispers: blankBleh.
Hissing As The Acid Burns Sounds Like: Batman Forever on tele